Beastly Bullshit

These days its cool to call someone “a beast” if they
seem to be working hard in the gym.

“Hey! that guy is a BEAST!”

“Dude… you’re a BEAST!”

It’s a cool thing to say, but that’s all.

I’ve found that there usually isn’t an ounce of truth in
theses statements.

Lifting weights that are so heavy that you bust blood vessels
in your face and eyeballs does not make you a beast.

Driving your body further into physiological dysfunction
by irrationally pumping out 47 reps of the power clean, with
horrific form, in under 11 minutes, does not make you a

In fact, this type of neurotic narcissism does nothing but
cause the animal in you to die slowly.

The poorly abused beast that you drive so forcefully with
the insistence of your ego stroking exercise programs…

…stimulates nothing but backlash from the real beast in you.

The REAL beast is not governed by your head-brain or ego.

The REAL best is out of your control.

It relies on it’s own source of power that is far out of your

It causes your heart to pump blood throughout your body.

It causes your digestive system to secrete enzymes, bile
and other chemicals to break down the crappy food you
stuff your face with.

It causes catabolic stress hormones to remain high in your
body all day and night long in response to your so-called
“beastly workout”.

The beast inside hates you for working at a job, that forces
you to submit to a jerk-off middle manager, at corporation
that pollutes the planet and makes people sick.

The best inside hates the chemicals and stimulants in your
diet that cause you to become constipated.

The beast inside hates your lack of courage and low self
esteem, that causes you to hesitate when it needs
you to assert yourself.

The beast is very, very old.

The beast is wise.

The beast has been with all previous generations.

The beast caused rain when the Native Americans danced.

The beast taught the Egyptians how to build pyramids.

The beast was there when your parents conceived you.

The beast told you when to cry.

The beast told you when to scream.

The beast sat down to help you learn in school.

The beast stepped aside when he was called inappropriate.

The beast allowed you to cover it’s smell with deodorant.

The beast patiently waits for you to acknowledge it.

In fact, the beast wished you would just get the hell out of
the way and let it do what it does best…

…obey nature.

Grow Stronger,
Elliott Hulse