“Don’t Touch Me” (and other stupid threats)

On my way to dropping my two oldest daughters,
Isabelle and Emerson, off at school today I heard
one of the most ridiculous conversations EVER on
our favorite country music station.

The two radio show hosts were discussing news
about how a New York state soccer club had
outlawed handshakes and high-fives.

Gone also were the old-fashioned “hand slap
line-up” where both teams would show respect
and appreciation for each other after the game.

Apparently the soccer club decided to do away
with the traditional show of acknowledgement
in order to stop the spread of the flu virus.

If you happen to be a paranoid germaphobe then
excuse the saliva spraying from my mouth when
I yell…


Its bad enough that the media has compelled us to
lock our children indoors for fear of kidnappers and
other dark-bearded boogeymen of the sort.

But now… we are being forced to accept the idea
that our children, and perhaps we, should no
longer touch each other for fear of infection.

If you agree with this asinine advice of non-touching
to save your health, then I have a heavy handed slap
for your face…

…The Germ Theory Is FLAWED.

Louis Pasteur, the father of modern germ theory,
asserted on his death bed, “the microbe is nothing,
the terrain is everything.”

What this means is that germs can and will only
successfully attack weak terrain (organisms).

The microbe (germ) is nothing, the terrain
(organism) is everything!

Practically, this means that the germs, flu virus or
otherwise, is not the bad guy.

The bad guy is US.

Its our weak immune systems that make us likely
hosts for these opportunistic microbes.

Instead of a ban on touching, how about we make
it mandatory that only healthy children, who sleep
8 hours a night and eat whole foods, be allowed to
play with ours.

For the record I am against almost ALL laws that
restrict personal freedom and choice, but if we’re
in the law-making mood… then why not work on
the root issue rather than hacking at branches?

Society is getting weirder and weirder.

Instead of being a proactive culture that seeks the
wisdom and common-sense approach of our
ancestors, we are falling farther and father away
from the basic human ideals and behaviors that
made us such a resilient creature…

…like TOUCHING each other.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that a ban on hand
shakes and high-fives is not only a superficial
measure to curb illness, but just another slippery
slope driving humanity closer to insanity.

The more afraid and suspicious we become of one
another, the more isolated we feel.

Mental and physical illness proliferates amongst
organisms who feel alone, abandoned, and isolated.

Just consider the rouge cancer cell that starts to
behave as if it were separate from the organism and
ultimately leads to systemic dismantling.

We need each other, human beings are tribal-social

We need MORE touching, MORE handshakes, MORE
high-five and MORE hugs.

My final invitation for you is this…


Just stop for a moment, turn off the television, put
down your iPhone… and think!

You don’t need scientific studies, statistics or a state
funded program to show you how retarded many of
the ideas we take for granted are.

A ban on children touching each other might sound
silly today, just be careful that it doesn’t become the
law of the land tomorrow.

Rant over.

Grow Stronger,
Elliott Hulse

PS – There are still a few days to join us for the
next Yo Elliott Live event in San Diego:

Click here if you want to guarantee you spot.


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